Monday, December 2, 2013

Abstract Thoughts: An Insufferable Idea

Wisdom of an Inner Editor
One of the perils of being intangible is that it's difficult for one to hire a decent lawyer. Even the most detail-oriented individual can end up with a very shoddy contract without an attorney keeping his/her eye on things. A contract, for example, that includes vague clauses about cooperation in marketing efforts to be determined.

I'm the most senior abstract living in Renee's head. When I signed on as her Inner Editor, this blog did not exist and she hadn't the faintest inkling that she would one day hire an Idea Salesman. I enjoy my work, don't get me wrong, but mornings like this make me wish I could take a mental health day.

Because here I sit, railroaded into spending my time writing a blog post by a chauvinist pig with all the charm of a Southern high school football coach who moonlights as a used car salesman.

Let me explain: the Idea Salesman somehow convinced Renee that expanding the blog again was in her best interests. And, since apparently our posts generate the most positive feedback, he also convinced her that the best way to go about that was to give the abstracts their own weekly feature, instead of restricting our online appearances to once every month or so.

I'm fairly certain he meant for it to work out that he got his own weekly feature, but Renee chose to interpret his suggestions as including all three of us. (Thank the gods for small favors there.) And I, as the most senior abstract present, won the dubious honor of going first.

Renee, you shouldn't have.

Really.

The Idea Salesman might spend his days flittering around on the internet and swallowing huge swathes of the twitterverse whole, but I have real work I need be doing.

There are notes to be made regarding the 25000 words of Guardian written during the last month and the ~65000 words to come.

The Muse and I have a meeting scheduled later today to discuss plans for going forward with Familiar.

And a loose structure needs to be pegged out regarding the new story idea percolating in the back of Renee's imagination, so it will be ready to pick up and run with once the two current projects are finished and not forgotten in all the demon fighting and romantic fumbling sure to happen between now and then.

We've all been down with a bad head cold (yes, a head cold infects all the voices in a writer's head as well; we're the ones who have to live here, after all), travel fatigue, and holiday chaos for the past two weeks. It's time to buckle down and get back to work before the whole plan for the year ends up hopelessly off track.

If he wasn't such a maddening jerk hell-bent on ruining the good name of creative abstracts everywhere, I'd be content to let him have his way and leave all the blogging responsibilities to the Idea Salesman. But someone has to take the floor every now and again to be the voice of reason and responsibility around here.

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