Monday, June 23, 2014

Abstract Thoughts: New Hire Orientation

Brilliance from the Idea Salesman

Ladies and Gentlemen. May I have your attention please? I have something very important to share with you.

I have won. Victory is mine!

Hmmm. . . That's kind of funny. IE just muttered the exact same thing as Donna there. She must be a West Wing fan too.

Anyway, I have been fighting an uphill battle with Renee for some time now and I have finally worn her down won her over. Let me draw your attention to a couple of items here on the blog. First up, last week's blog post by our very own charming and super red hot librarian chick, the Inner Editor.

The Inner Editor has finally recognized my brilliance for what it is and has publically declared me a genius. I knew she'd come around eventually.

And with her, so also goes Renee. Hey, I'd love to say it was all me, but I gotta give credit where credit is due. IE's the senior abstract around here and her opinion carries a lot of weight with the writer. So once she was on board, I knew I was golden. And just look at this:

That's right folks. We're getting a new blogger around here. I tried to get another abstract to do it, but all the good ones told me there was no way they'd consider living inside a writer's head. Something about professional detachment.

I think all the clutter scared them off, personally. Management types are almost always neat freaks and the Muse tends to leave little fragments of ideas all over the place. And let's not even talk about the shit the Critic flings around.

Anyway, I couldn't get an abstract in here, so I had to venture out into the real world. That's right, folks! Rather than cram another voice inside Renee's head, another human being will be doing the job. (And the blogging!)

Renee has hired Long-Suffering Husband to take on the role of The Project Manger. I'm using the word hired there very loosely, because I think he agreed to do the work for free. Or at least for freedom from nagging.

Nepotism FTW!

I wish I could tell you a little bit about his project management plans, but he's being really cagey about it. So far all he's done is confiscate the tracking spreadsheets and calendars and told Renee he needed time to "think some ideas through".

I assume that means he's thinking something along the lines of "how the hell did I get myself dragged into this mess?" and I just sort of want to point to the wedding anniversary he's got coming up on the calendar and say "dude, you knew she was a nutcase writer when you married her."

Thought I doubt he'll put it to Renee in quite that way. (See aforementioned impending wedding anniversary) But I don't really know, since I live in her head and not his. I guess we'll all just have to wait to see what he comes up with when he introduces himself here next Monday.

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